Grief
by Enamie
Summary: ...why do innocents have to die? Why can't Altair be good enough to prevent their deaths?


Soft footsteps gently padded into the dusty Bureau, a swish of cloth tailing behind. Malik swiveled his gaze at the entrance to see who was coming, even though he had a pretty good idea on who it was.  
A drowsy-looking Altair shuffled into the room Malik was doing work in, his shoulders slumped and feet dragging. A crimson feather in his hand.  
Malik's eyebrow raised when Altair paused to yawn, rubbing his golden eyes with his free hand.  
"Here," He mumbled. "Safety and-" He yawned again. "Peace, Malik." He pushed the feather onto Malik's desk, waiting for Malik's reply.  
Malik's lips curled into a half-smile of amusement, taking the feather and putting it onto the shelf below his desk.  
"Long day, Altair?" He quipped, his smirk widening just a bit when Altair tiredly waved him off, trudging over to the pillows, mumbling something unintelligible.  
"Altair, you cannot simply go to bed without eating anything."  
"Yes I can," Altair's voice was a soft grumble. "I'll just eat in the morning."  
Rolling his eyes, Malik looked back down at the map he had been working on and pushed it aside, exiting his working space and walking out to where Altair lay, back facing him.  
"Altair, you fool. That's not good for you."  
"This mission wasn't good for me." Altair said tiredly, his body curling up a bit more to reach the more comfortable pillows.  
"Oh? How so?" Malik plopped down on the dusty ground, criss-crossing his feet.  
"…Malik," Altair said after a few seconds. "I just want to sleep." Although heavy tiredness was woven into his voice, there was just a hint of sadness embedded in it. Malik caught hold of that thread of sadness immediately.  
"Is something bothering you?"  
"No." Altair said quickly. Too quickly.  
"Do not lie to me, novice. We grew up together. I know when there's something on your mind." Malik was stubborn, he was going to get Altair to tell him what was wrong.  
"There's nothing wrong, Malik. I'm just exhausted." Too bad Altair was stubborn too.  
Malik snorted, arms crossing over his chest. "I won't leave you to rest until you've told me what's wrong."  
Heavy silence.  
You see, Altair was like a wall. A wall that was impossible to break down or climb over. You couldn't just squeeze what you wanted out of that wall, you couldn't bust it open and see what was behind it. No, you had to remove the wall. Brick-by-brick. Piece-by-piece until it finally crumbled down on its own, revealing a spilled mess of emotions. Malik was determined to get to those emotions Altair hid all the time. After all…Altair was his only friend. His best friend.  
"Altair?" Malik murmured when the Master Assassin didn't say anything. "Please tell me what's wrong."  
Altair shifted his head to look back at the Dai, a frown carved into his well-sculptured face. A distant sadness glimmered in his eyes and he let out a long exhale, finally moving his body to where he was fully facing Malik.  
"This mission…I did the task, as you know well," He hinted at the feather. "But it didn't go as well as I wanted it to. I know some missions don't play out as we plan them to be but…this time I really wish it did."  
"Go on." Malik urged gently, his inner gentleness that he would never show to any other soul peeking out of its shell.  
"The Templars were holding people hostage. I was not informed on this. I'm sure no one knew beside them. I went to free these hostages, and I succeeded. But one of the little children that was scared out of their mind, ran forward in blind panic. I went after him, I needed to catch him before he alerted the other Templars in the area. But he rounded a corner and smashed into a guard, not aware that he was there. The guard seized the child and I went after that guard, but then my arms were seized and held behind my back. I was so…so focused on the child I didn't see the Templar sneaking up behind me," Altair paused for a second, something unreadable in his eyes. Malik thought he saw sadness, but at the same time there was a flash of hate. "That guard," He continued. "Was grinning at me. A horrible, ugly grin. He looked at me and then the child and then he just…he shoved his sword through the little kids back. Piercing his heart as he did." His voice faltered a bit, and his gaze caught onto his fingers which were gripping the silk fabric of the pillow. "I don't think I've never been so outraged. I killed both the Templar and the guard…but then…I had to take that little boy back to his family and…and the look on their faces…" Altair's knuckles were a sheet white around the pillow's fabric. His lips pressed into a hard white line, and Malik assumed he wasn't going to say anything more. He didn't need to. Malik understood.  
"The child, Altair, is in a better place. Perhaps it was fate that this child no longer lived."  
"It wasn't fate!" Altair's voice was angry. "It was murder! Murder of a child! Of-of a family!"  
Malik sighed slowly, looking down at his hands in his lap. Altair was right, after all. He had a reason to be so upset over this.  
Altair thumped his head back on the pillow, golden orbs closing. "Can I sleep now, Malik?"  
Malik's gaze rose back up. He studied Altair for a minute. How tense his friends body had now become.  
"I'm sorry that you had to see that, Altair. I know you would do anything to get that child back to his family." Malik tried to soothe gently, but Altair's expression only grew grimmer.  
A single thought probed its way through Malik's head. 'Hug him. It'll help him.' But he forcefully shoved it back. Hugging Altair was taking it too far. That's much too soft, Assassin's didn't hug each other.  
Right?  
'He needs you to know you're there for him. Sometimes words aren't enough.' That thought continued stubbornly.  
Malik hesitated, his teeth sinking into his lip. Altair was tough. Didn't show emotion. Hated showing emotion.  
But yet, he had just shown Malik a moment of weakness. A moment of emotion.  
Malik needed Altair to know he understood.  
In one quick movement and a rush of arms, Malik secured Altair in a tight hug. No words left Malik's mouth, nor did any leave Altair's. But without a second of pausing, Altair's arms snaked around Malik's and the Assassin pulled him closer, almost into a cuddling position which Malik didn't fight.  
"I should of saved that child…" Altair's voice hitched, teeth clenched.  
"You did all you could have done, my friend. Do not blame yourself."  
"Malik you don't-"  
"Hush. Get some rest, you novice. Perhaps we can talk more on this in the morning. But you need your sleep."  
Altair's voice cut out after that. He didn't say anything else. The thought rolled around in Malik's head that he should get free of Altair's grip and go lay on his own bed, but he decided against it. This wasn't so bad. Besides, doing this only once wouldn't hurt anybody.  
Minutes passed, and Malik felt himself getting drowsy. He adjusted himself, getting more comfortable next to his friend. He was on the verge of slipping into sleep when-  
"Malik?"  
"Mmm?"  
"…I think I'm hungry now."  
A long, heavy sigh was Malik's only response.


End file.
